marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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