Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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