No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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