she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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