Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
