im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
