if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
