he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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