I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
