I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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