hotel room ftw
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
