I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize