I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
