Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
