Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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