i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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