party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
