threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
