Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
