dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
