Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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