I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
