I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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