I bet he comes in French.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Be still, my beating vagina.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
