I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
