Yo dont text me then not text me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
