They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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