You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
