why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
