so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
