It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
