We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
