I think im going to throw up on grandma
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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