Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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