Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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