i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
