let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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