i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
did i walk over a car last night?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
