I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
