I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
