Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
