so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize