Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
