You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
