Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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