We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I need a beard to bite.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
