I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
