But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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