I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
