It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You are the jesus of drinking
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
