Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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