I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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